"When God saw you, it was love at first sight"

I feel a rant coming on, it can't be helped. I've passed by one too many church marquees with some trite, pithy little phrase on it. The physical and emotional response I have can only be likened to the distress I experience upon walking into my children's bathroom only hours after I've cleaned it to discover it has once again been reduced to a gas station restroom.

To wit:

"The best vitamin for a Christian is B-1"
"Jesus - gateway to the supernatural"
"Down in the mouth? It's time for a faith lift"
"Need a new life? God accepts trade-ins"
"You don't need to be brain dead to live for Jesus - but when you are, you'll be glad you did"
"Hell! I'd forgotten about that"
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams"
"Prevent truth decay, brush up on the Bible"
"Jesus: He's holding your atoms together"

Just a sampling of the quippy little quotes I've taken down over the years. Here's why they're all wrong. First - I have yet to meet somebody whose life was transformed as a result of reading a church marquee. Second - I have serious doubts that anybody driving by, Christian and heathen alike, actually stop and ponder the meaning of any given statement. Third - I think it reduces God and Christianity to a marketing tag line that is supposed to entice somebody to "buy the product"

It is my contention that I don't have "Christian credibility" with anyone till they've personally witnessed or experienced me truly behaving and living like one. More than anything, I would hate for someone who was actually considering darkening the door of a church for the first time to be dissuaded because they happened upon the cheesy marquee quote first.

So there it is. I'm stepping off my soap box (what does that mean anyway?) I'm done.

Just remember - "If God is your co-pilot - swap seats"

blogs

I don 't get this blog thing. Some old school protestant reformed preacher (glyn) needs to come up with a fancy acronym telling me and the rest of the world why a blog matters. You know what I mean . . .B is for _____, L is for ____ blah, blah, blah. {hint: a book called Aquachurch may help develop your thinking around how to do this.}

After looking at a few of these things, I've yet to see anything more than personal musings about nothingness. Isn't this what L! groups are for?

OK, I've been getting abused - verbally of course - for my selection of a 'display name'. It's a feeble attempt at humor given the family blog name - all of our friends already know the truth about who the real ruler is (see Eph 5:22).

Enough Already!

An order to "Cease and Desist" has been issued to Mark

Sad

I met a new neighbor today. They moved in two doors down and she introduced herself to me on my driveway. She and her husband are from Florida. They have a young son. We chatted, I asked all of the usual questions and we exchanged names and phone numbers.

I'm going to call her.

I'm going to call her because I've spent the better part of four days pouting (again) about how lonely I feel here. I told Mark I can go days when he's out of town and only talk with my kids. Sure we have friends we've made here... very nice people by the way. But I can't help longing for the friendships that I have in CA. I miss my mom and dad. I miss my sister and seeing her new baby. The strangest things here trigger my sadness.

On Sunday, I drove by a house - there were several cars out front. Kids playing outside with dads and uncles. Sunday dinner with family. We used to do that at my mom's house almost every week. I wish my kids could experience that.

The boys had their basketball banquet. Mark had to be out of town. So I went with them, they had lots of fun but as I sat there, once again, I felt so alone in a room full of all kinds of extended family cheering on their nephew, niece or grandchild.

I have very dear friends who are in the midst of amazing and life changing experiences (expanding their family by fostering children, navigating a painful divorce, getting married, etc.) and I feel like I'm missing out on walking through those experiences with them, helping out, and being present because I live so far away.

For some reason, I haven't "leaved and cleaved" fully. I don't want to leave and cleave because so many years and experiences are wrapped up with my family and friends at home.

So, I know what I would offer in the way of advice to somebody in my shoes. I usually always know the solution and am rarely in the mood to work toward it. But I will call my new acquaintance down the street. It's a good baby step today and for now, all I'm in the mood for.

Quote of the Day

"A woman wants equity, that's not necessarily the same as equality."

Steven Nock from his recently published study asking: What makes a woman happy with her marriage?

Ground Hog Day And Then...

You could probably set your watch according to my routine - On any given day, children will be fed, and shuttled. Dishes will be loaded and unloaded. Some frozen piece of meat will hopefully be thawed and transformed into dinner that is served at exactly 5:30 pm. I'm making a concerted effort to expand my exciting daily rituals with lots of reading, not nearly enough exercise and a few spiritual practices. And then there are the isolated events that transform the mundane.

Like my experience at Moby's Carwash. Here in Louisville, they have these stand alone buildings with automatic, touchless car washes that you pull into. (similar but bigger than the one at the Shell station by my old house on Yorba Linda Blvd)

So, I pull up, deposit my $5.00 for my "Summer Squall" and proceed to drive in. The doors in front and back of me come down and Tyler and I watch as my 8 mile per gallon, atmosphere destroying vehicle is restored by water and soap. The wash is done and now as instructed by a neon sign being held by Moby - I pull forward. But the doors don't open. I back up, (maybe I have to trigger something) That doesn't work either. So now I'm sitting inside a car wash and I can't get out. I step out of my car, push the button for the door - nothing. I look for a phone number, a human, a side entry door - nothing. Maybe there is a manual release lever like my garage door opener at home - no.

After sitting in my car for 30 minutes, alternately reassuring my inquiring 3 year old that we'll get out soon - I am at a complete loss. Do I call the fire department? Not 911 - just the regular number and request that on the way back from extinguishing a house fire and saving people, could they help me escape this car wash? Can I pull the door up with my hands and crawl out? What the heck am I going to do? Now Tyler is getting nervous, of course he has to go the bathroom... this was funny 20 minutes ago, but I'm over it now.

I've pulled and pushed every button and lever in the carwash. (I can tell you how to trigger a free application of hot wax and rust inhibitor) I've blown dry my car (and my hair) four times. Now I'm just trying not to use profanity.

Finally, another car pulls up outside and I yell through the door that I'm trapped and can't get the door open. The very nice man laughed at me and then called the number that he could see posted on the OUTSIDE of the building and soon I was free.

Maybe next time, I'll wash the car in my driveway.

Red Dawn - a study of teenage heroism

My very good friend Glyn was shocked and appalled to learn that I listed the movie Red Dawn in my profile as one of my favorites. As an Engishman, he fails to appreciate the heroic, selfless acts of patriotism, harrowing danger and bravery that repeatedly, throughout the film demonstrate how fantastic Patrick Swayze looked in 1983.

That said, I also feel the need to respond to his accusation that I am swimming in dangerously "shallow" waters... I disagree. What girl wouldn't want to be a part of the band of teenagers camping out in the wilderness (with a bunch of hot teenage boys) and fighting the bad guys?

I've been reading alot lately and have come across the idea of "context" I guess you have to put my appreciation for this great film in "context" and understand that when I watched it as a 13 year old many years ago, it was the danger and adventure that appealed to me.

So Glyn, I'm waiting to read all about the anxiety you experience upon entering a nice restaurant and encountering a single napkin...