ky coop cast

Tagged

2009-05-07T18:16:00.004-04:00

Mary called me out so here it is:

Eight Things I'm Looking Forward To:

Watching The Office
Getting my hair PROFESSIONALLY colored (not playing chemicals in my bathroom)
A long run tomorrow
Seeing some friends from a long time ago in June
Watching the kids play football this weekend
The pool opening
Camping at Taylorsville (I know, weird for me)

Eight Things I Did Yesterday:

Laundry (I gave the staff the day off)
Carpool
Ran
Read
Reunion
Talked with a friend
some other mundane task I cannot recall

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do:

Run faster
Play the piano
Speak a second language
Articulate and defend a position more clearly/convincingly
Not have to be so mindful about what I eat
Eat lunch with my sister every week
Spend more time with my three nephews
Sing really well

Eight Shows I Watch:

Friday Night Lights
Survivor
Rescue Me
48 Hours
The Tudors
Glenn Beck/O'Reilly
The Office
Whatever my kids are watching

A Great Quote

2008-08-04T22:06:00.003-04:00

Even an eloquent politician can become, as Benjamin Disraeli described William Gladstone, "a sophistical rhetorician inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity."

George F. Will

All Good Things Must Come To An End...

2008-06-29T06:28:00.002-04:00

We spent our last day like anybody who has never experienced a five star resort - trying to do and see everything possible and imprint it in our memory. We had room service on the patio and then went on a bike tour of the island. The brochure said it would be easy (for Lance Armstrong). It wore us out!

We came back and had lunch and then had a couples massage in the "spa room" of our villa. As I write, I know Jo will have plenty to say about this whole experience :)

We swam in the ocean took a nap and now are headed for wine and cheese in the villa where Ruler's boss is staying.

There are more pictures on the link - check them out. We turn into pumpkins at 8:15 AM tomorrow and will board four different airplanes for the 18+ hour trip home.

See you soon!

Malaysia

2008-06-28T04:32:00.003-04:00

No attempt to be funny - just a quick update from Malaysia! We posted over 150 pictures today from our last day in Hong Kong, our 1 day in Kuala Lumpur, and our arrival at the Four Seasons in Langkawi! WOW!!

Michelle ate Octopus at dinner last night! We ate at a restaurant where they take live seafood from tanks, kill it, cook it and serve it. We have some great pictures - click on the link.

Today and tomorrow we are staying at the most inspiring place we have ever been - we are in a villa, on the beach, and can see Thailand from our front window. Behind us is a huge cliff, we have an outdoor shower, private spa, and basically a private beach.

By the way - we have seen unbelievable KFCs, Pizza Huts and East Dawning restaurants - it's very different than the US - the assets, the food, the hospitality. Pizza Hut in Hong Kong is like a scaled down Cheesecake Factory! KFC is the biggest and best known brand in Malaysia - over 400 restaurants owned by 1 Franchisee who also owns the 200 Pizza Huts.

Anyway, we have lots of stories and Michelle is much funnier on the blog - but we wanted to give you a quick update. We are off to a boat cruise and then dinner.

Kids - we love you!

Family - thank you!

Hong Kong

2008-06-25T06:47:00.002-04:00

What an amazing city! No pictures today because of rain but we'll try and take more and put them on once we get to Kuala Lumpur. This is such a great place. More later! Going to dinner.

The Great Wall, Typhoons, and Ox Cheek

2008-06-24T20:04:00.002-04:00

OK everyone, this isn't as funny or interesting as Chicken One, but thought we'd give you a quick run down!

Yesterday, we spent the morning at the Great Wall - check out all the pics by clicking the link. The drive home was very scary - the rules of the road are different, kind of an every man for himself situation. We also took a few pics of Olympic hotels and buildings.

We then visited East Dawning, a new Yum Brands restaurant at the airport - basically Chinese fast food in China - could be a big idea - go stock price!!

Then, off to Hong Kong, where we have level 8 Typhoon warnings! It's rained all night, so we aren't sure what will happen today. We are in very nice hotel and Hong Kong looks awesome - can't wait to get out and see everything!!!

OK, we are running late, we'll try to post some more before we leave tomorrow.

Kids - we miss you a ton and love you - thanks for sending me some emails.

GARY - send some more emails today to my email address!!!!!

bye for now

Duck, Duck, Goose?

2008-06-23T11:12:00.003-04:00

We started this morning by heading over to a KFC for breakfast. All of the employees greeted and shook our hands as we entered and they served us a variety of menu items - none like what you can get at home. It was pretty good! From there, we headed to Tian An Men Square and then on to the Forbidden City. Tons of history and culture in those places. (Check out our pictures by clicking on the China link on the right side of the blog.)

From there, we went to a Pizza Hut for lunch. The stores here are more akin to a Chili's or T.G.I. Fridays. We were served escargot, onion rings, salad, a huge variety of smoothies and drinks and of course pizza. Not your basic pepperoni pan though. I liked most of it. Of course there, we were greeted by all of the staff and the people dining inside are always curious to see a bunch of Americans show up.

Our groups split at that point and I headed with the rest of the spouses to the pearl market - I saw lots of really beautiful pieces but it was more expensive than I thought and I didn't really know what a good bargain would be. Our guide Wendy helped me negotiate a good price on some silk dragon robes for my guys. NEGOTIATION happens on a completely different level here!

We arrived back at the hotel and had dinner inside. I did not have the duck! Afterwards, we headed to the Red Theater for a Kung Fu show.

Tomorrow, we go to the Great Wall and then fly on to Hong Kong. Many more pictures to come. Thanks M&D for letting us borrow the camera.

We made it!

2008-06-22T09:20:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone - we made it to Beijing. We had a very easy flight - 2 words - BUSINESS CLASS.

Boys - we flew on a 747 and were upstairs in a special section. We had dinner and lunch on the 11 hour flight. We were in our hotel about an hour after we landed, we worked out, ate a little snack and are getting ready to go to bed. It's 6:25 in the morning in CA, it's 9:25 PM in Beijing!

We love you and we'll post a message tomorrow. We are going to visit Tian An Men Square, the Forbidden City, mom is going shopping and I'm going to visit a few KFCs and Pizza Huts!

Have a great day and write us a note!!!!

Trip to China

2008-06-16T22:56:00.003-04:00

We are off to China and want to set up a way to keep in touch! We are going to try and log in every day, post some pictures and tell you what's going on. (We aren't in China yet, the boat picture was a test to see if we can enter the year 2008 with our technology skills)

The pictures will be viewed via the link on the right side of the page.

We hope you will write back every day and tell us what's going on!

Mark (Ruler . . .)

Bullet Points (inspiration = Mary)

2008-04-14T19:06:00.002-04:00

Kids back in school and counting down the days until they are out for summer. So am I, only I'm keeping track for different reasons.

Question: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in our house? Answer: Two. Two people who successfully jam said lightbulb into socket and can't get it out. Two people to drive to Home Depot at 9:35 PM to buy two new vanity lights that must be installed before the scheduled showing in the morning.

Can't wait for family to arrive in two weeks.

Who wants a Demotivator? These aren't for everyone...

The Office is back.

Trying to figure out what I can do to earn some cash, occupy my mind and time while the kids are in school. Prefer that it isn't an extension of the current job, i.e. cleaning, driving, and mediation. To quote a good friend Nancy, "must have unlimited sick and personal days and very flexible scheduling." Ideas?

Can we be done with 40 degrees now?

Spring Break 2008

2008-04-09T12:41:00.005-04:00

We haven't had any showings this week so we're dangerously close to living in complete squalor with dishes in the sink, actual trash in the indoor trash cans, two loads of laundry folded but not put away. I know, I'm starting to talk crazy now.

I promised each of the kids that I would help them make two of their favorite recipes each. For the last three days, I've loaded and unloaded the dishwasher 12 times, driven to the grocery store four times and burned up my electric mixer.

It's been great. They've had fun being little chefs and actually know their way around a kitchen. A "your welcome" in advance to the future spouses. I want my daughter - in- laws to LOVE me. Teaching the boys to cook and bake well is part of my strategy.

Produced so far from scratch in our humble kitchen:

Farmhouse Pizza
Double Cookie Dough Blast Ice Cream Sandwiches
Eskimo-cicles
Pepperoni Pizza Pockets
Seriously Chocolaty Cheesecake

Exhibit A

A note for the peanut gallery: I wasn't driving to Michael's to buy popsicle sticks, hence the plastic fork approach.

They are very proud of their work and want to sample it several times a day.

In other news, a giant truck delivered all of the roof materials today. There is nothing like spending money on a new roof for a house you are trying to sell...

For California, the Pear trees that blossom in our neighborhood:

It's very pretty here in spring.

Word of the Week

2008-04-07T11:06:00.001-04:00

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Man Cold

2008-03-06T15:19:00.003-05:00

I've walked a mile in her shoes.

From Tree to Table

2008-02-03T12:04:00.000-05:00

This is for my dear Southern California friends and family who up to now, have been deprived of this culinary treat.

Squirrels are best when served fresh. If preparing the meat the day after a hunt, keep refrigerated overnight in a pan of water.

Curried Fried Squirrel
(from "The Bounty of the Earth Cookbook" by Sylvia Bashline)

3 Squirrels, cut into serving pieces
1 onion, chopped
2 Tablespoons butter
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Flour, seasoned with salt & pepper
1/2 Teaspoon Curry powder
1 Cup port wine (Zinfandel recommended)
Parsley Sprigs

Lightly brown onion in the butter/oil mixture. Douse the meat pieces in seasoned flour and brown. Sprinkle curry on each piece. Add the wine, cover and simmer for 1 hour. Serve on buttered noodles with a sprig of parsley.

And if you would like to incorporate a little citrus in your squirrel cuisine:

Squirrel 'a l'orange

2 Squirrels, cleaned
1 egg
1 Cup evaporated milk
1/2 C orange juice
1/2 C flour
2 to 4 tablespoons port wine
1/2 C cooking oil

Cut each squirrel into six pieces. Parboil in salted water for 40 minutes. Drain. Beat the eagg and whisk into evaporated milk. Slowly add orange juice. Dip squirrel pieces into mixture, roll them in flour. Fry in skillet over medium heat. Pour remaining orange mixture over cooked meat.

Only in Kentucky.

The Shoebox

2008-01-24T20:12:00.000-05:00

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?' 'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet.

The Kindness of Strangers

2007-12-12T11:18:00.001-05:00

A woman named Margaret called me this morning and said she had a cat that matched the description of one lost and reported to the Humane Society in our area. I drove to her house and it was Starbuck! He's home, completely emaciated but purring and sleeping in his favorite spot.

The kids will be so excited when they walk in and see him!

A new nephew, a missing cat and a cup of tea

2007-12-05T12:30:00.000-05:00

I still would like people to check out the blog every once in a while - I can help that along with a new post every now and again.

My sister and brother-in-law welcomed their second son on November 28. He's healthy and beautiful and sleeps a lot! Can you ask for anything more? Now they just have to adjust to life with multiple kids - I remember the early days of nursing and watching from the upstairs window as my two older kids exited the building and headed over to Grandma's house. (They were 3 and 4 at the time. Hardly old enough to conduct a solo field trip to grandma's).

Starbuck, the most friendly and lovable cat you ever saw went missing in early November. We scoured the neighborhood, put up signs, and went door to door. He's gone. I admit that I loved that cat and really miss him. We had some upset kids for several weeks.

And finally, the Tea. The youngest told me yesterday that he was really glad I was done with the tea because he was tired of watching me work on my computer and talk on the phone. He calls it like he sees it. It went great - 75 hostesses and tables on each night, 26 crafters in the Holiday Bazaar, tons of volunteers, great program and most importantly, an awesome volunteer leadership team! Check out the slide show to get a flavor of the event.

I'll be home for Christmas!

This Rooster Got Roasted!

2007-10-25T18:53:00.000-04:00

Ruler of the Roost is transitioning into a new job and when I got the invitation to attend his send off/roast party I didn't hesitate to say "yes!"

Would I miss an evening where everything I have ever felt or observed of him was going to be completely validated by the people he works with? Are you kidding me, uh no. Plus, I got to change out of my uniform (sweats) and put mascara on.

The evening began with The Story Of Mark

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a precocious boy named Mark. He wished for a world where the fun meter was always high; he was surrounded by an abundance of A Team players, and what he wished for most of all... what that he could DANCE!

One day in an effort to bring his dream to life, he took his adoring subjects to Churchill Downs... a place where dreams come true. He asked his faithful subjects what he would need to do to bring his dream to life... Hmmm, they all thought. It will all take a lot of work and just a bit of magic. But remember, it all starts with YOU!

First, you'll need your magical gown. Next you'll need your special crown and magic wand. You'll also need a step by step guide to make all your Dreams Come True!

Behind him, a giant screen is projecting Disney's Bella Dancerella dance along studio. It starts and he is made to follow along with the dance steps.

So after he was Bella dancerella, more people got up and took turns paying "tribute" to all of the experiences and stories they had to share.

One person stood up and shared that she suspected his career had progressed so quickly because of his vocabulary. She suggested we all take notes and start incorporting the following into our everyday conversation. It would surely get us promoted like it did him:

"We have to have a tough conversation." "I appreciate that, but how do we get to the facts." "We're in the muddy middle." "We need to play bigger." "How are we demonstrating this, because we must execute flawlessly." "We have to be intrusive and elevate that discussion." "We need your best thinking around this because we just need to go fix it." "I'm getting some coaching right now, but I know we gotta love em." "You know I'm feeling zesty today." "Are we having fun yet?" "You are stressing me out." "You know that at the end of the day, we own that and we need to find and create some space..."

He says all of that stuff! They were completely accurate.

I told him that if they didn't like him, they wouldn't tease him so mercilessly. They talked on and on about how much they appreciated him and his impact in their lives and how much they knew that he genuinely cared about them. One of the funniest moments of the night was when they were teasing him about how cheap he is and that they are worried that it's not going to be good for them as he goes to head up compensation and benefits. He got a piggy bank with money in it along with books about giving people money.

I don't do the night justice, We laughed a lot and I was so proud of him! (and very happy for some validation!)

A Clarification

2007-09-30T15:43:00.000-04:00

"Jose can you see, at the dawn's early flight..."

(Ryan, at the top of his lungs on the bus at Walt Disney World)

More to come on that "magical" experience later.

Tagged

2007-09-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

My good friend and bride-to-be Zoey picked me!

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their 8 things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

8 Random Facts/Habits About Me:

1. I read the entire paper and browse CNN.com everyday.
2. The Office is my favorite TV show of all time. Brilliant!
3. I have a hard time going to and staying asleep at night.
4. If I could, I would love to go on a mission trip to Acres of Love in South Africa. It's a Christian Orphanage.
5. I get disappointed when people don't do what they say they are going to do.
6. I really appreciate the relationship I have with my sister.
7. It is still hard for me to be far away from family. I think about it alot.
8. I don't like it when things don't work or are broken and damaged. I have to get the repair done.

I tag Mary, Joelle, Dawn and Logan

I couldn't make this up if I tried...

2007-08-02T15:56:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, with my beautiful, rambuctious, loud children in tow, I went to my pre-op appointment where they take blood, vitals, etc. It was all going along normally (with the exception of my children attempting to chat up every unsuspecting stranger in the hospital).

The nurse asked me to step on the scale. I did. "No, no way, that's impos - Grace, come over here and look at this." I'm looking at the number. The number is right. Now the nurse AND Grace are checking me out, looking at the scale like they can't believe what they are seeing. "Can you believe this?" Now they're both looking me up and down, inspecting me. "Girlfriend, all I can say is that you carry it well."

Example #33 on how people verbally malfunction with me.

I don't know what it is about me. I get she was surprised that the scale said I weighed as much as I do. I told her the number was right. She wasn't trying to be rude, she was just genuinely shocked. Kind of one of those backwards compliment deals.

So tomorrow I go in for surgery. I just want to wake up minus one gall bladder and not a kidney or something. I'm working on procuring a very loud bell (see my posts about Ruler of the Roost's surgery) so that he can wait on me and nurse me back to health.

I'll let you know how that goes.

An Update in Ten Bullets

2007-06-16T20:41:00.000-04:00

1. I'm currently suffering from a very bad case of Irrigation Envy. I longlingly gaze at neighbors' sprinklers as they daily hydrate the beautiful lush lawns... and then there is my house and one hose and the irrigation system ruler-of-the-roost refers to as "hose girl."

2. My doctor tells me that as people age (like me, in my advanced stage of aging) gall bladders become non-functional. Grandma, (that's me) has to get hers out. I might take that opportunity to have some additional "work" done to help reverse the aging process.

3. There's the business of a trip to CA that will have to delay the above surgical procedure. Digestion isn't fun anymore, my love affair with food has been temporarily suspended.

4. Daily trips to the pool, playing outside, Gamecube, and watching hours of Dirty Jobs still leave my children hopelessly bored. I fondly remember the days of my youth - "go play, and I'll call you in a few hours for lunch."

5. Hosting a rockin' 40th Birthday party for a dear friend - it was scheduled to take place in a tranquil "green garden-like setting" has been changed to "Dessert in the Desert" complete with sand dunes and scorpions. (reference #1 above)

6. Ruler-of-the-Roost has announced for the 15th time today that this is "Father's Day WEEKEND" In addition to the massage he wants me and our children to give him, he is anticipating homemade buttermilk pancakes/bacon for breakfast, a picnic lunch with all of his favorites, followed by homemade pizza. What happened to the bucket of chicken concept?

7. I have successfully gone over three weeks with no Tylenol PM. Yep, cold turkey, don't even really miss it.

8. Can't wait for the so-cal trip.

9. Apart from the daily boredom that is summer, the kids are great and have had lots of fun playing football and t-ball.

10. Got to go - I have to start preparing for the all day eating fest that is Father's Day 2007.

Pachabel Bedtime

2007-05-23T18:02:00.000-04:00

2007-05-15T10:27:00.001-04:00

I've been warned...

2007-05-03T16:01:00.000-04:00

"Mom, you only have 21 more days of peace left."

A Neighborly Exchange

2007-04-23T09:10:00.000-04:00

Me "Hello _________. I see you listed your house, where are you moving?"

Her "We're going to Wisconsin, my husband's job" blah, blah, blah. "You know, I saw you last week walking in your yard and I was so surprised, you looked so beautiful, your hair, your face, and you were looking so slender." "I thought you lost so much weight!" "And then I see that is not you at all, it is your sister." "She is beautiful, and so thin!"

Me (invisible thought bubble above my head) Did she just say you are fat? I'm fat. Yes, she essentially just said that she initially confused me with my much thinner sister. I'm fat.

Me "Yes, that was my younger sister." "She was here visiting with my mom a few weeks ago."

Her "Oh, yes, I realize now that could not have been you."

Me (invisible thought bubble above my head) No, that wasn't me, does she realize what she just said? She is totally malfunctioning right now. I'm fat. She doesn't get it. I'm fat. Just smile, say a few more pleasantries and walk your big lard butt into the house. I'm fat. What is the deal with people and me? I am fat.

Me "Well, I hope you are able to sell your home quickly and that your move goes smoothly, we'll be sorry to see you leave." "Take care."

_____________________

Sometimes, it just takes the honest, forthright observation of somebody I barely know to be the impetus to change my eating and exercise habits. Thanks, neighbor.

Fun at Thunder Over Louisville

2007-04-23T08:59:00.000-04:00

"Mom, this rocks!"

A Father and Child Reunion is Only a Motion Away

2007-04-12T18:48:00.000-04:00

A Father and Son Reunion

All Hail Spring Break 2007

2007-04-12T14:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, around 6:30, a huge hail storm blew through and I, being "the guy" in the relationship, knew we needed to get outside and attempt to cover the car so that it wouldn't sustain any damage. Ruler of the Roost passively watched me run out with beach towels in hand. He finally hobbled over to the doorway and proceeded to laugh at me as I attempted (unsuccessfully) to cover the car with towels. All the boys were now laughing at me as I ran soaking wet back into the garage. (At least my car, the one that matters, was under cover).

It's been that kind of week here.

A little poem...

2007-04-04T18:33:00.000-04:00

The eldest came home with this little diddy. I wish I had a scanner so that you could see his accompanying artwork.

Summer

Summer is a wonderful time
We run, jump and climb

I like to swim in the pool
I think its really really cool

I like to go to the zoo
I like it when the dairy cows moo

Summer is the best time of the year
Except for deer

(we had talked a few days ago about hunting season)

2007-02-28T14:04:00.000-05:00

12 Steps

1. I have admitted I am powerless over Samoas and Thin Mints.

2. I have come to believe that the great power of three Samoas at 4:30 PM helps to restore my sanity daily.

3. I have made a decision to turn my willpower off and ignore the Nutrition Facts listed on the box.

4. I have made a searching and fearless inventory of my pantry and freezer to make sure all boxes are accounted for.

5. Admitted to God, to myself and to you the exact nature of my Girl Scout cookie consumption habits.

6. I am entirely ready to have God negate all of the calories and fat I consume in these cookies.

7. I have humbly asked Him to remove all my cellulite.

8. I have made a list of all of the people who really should eat more Girl Scout cookies and am willing to give a cookie to them all.

9. I have made amends to all Girl Scouts I have not yet purchased cookies from.

10. I continue to take personal inventory and when I haven't eaten enough Girl Scout cookies, properly admitted it.

11. Sought through visualization and meditation to consciously be open to other kinds of Girl Scout cookies.

12. Having had a powerful emotional and physiological response to these cookies, I try to communicate the positive message of these cookies to people everywhere.

Recovery

2007-02-21T13:47:00.000-05:00

Clearly, he's doing very well

He received a huge "get well" gift from work full of lots of great stuff - a very generous gift

He can't seem to locate his bell? (It may have been destroyed when he was napping)

People Get Ready

2007-02-19T18:49:00.000-05:00

Ruler of the Roost is scheduled for his right knee arthroscopy tomorrow. He's been instructed to bring his Living Will and nothing else. He assures me that he has been assured (note to self - make sure he's fully insured) that the procedure is very common and he'll be up and around in a few days.

It's the period between the surgery and "in a few days" that has me concerned.

Over the weekend he made mention of a few things he'd like me to have on hand to facilitate his recovery.

A BELL so that he can "ring me"
Wireless internet service purchased
His favorite sheets on the bed
Edy's Coffee Ice Cream
Hot Fudge
Extra pillows
His soft sweats laundered
Furniture rearranged in family room so he can watch TV
New Plasma TV purchased and mounted in our bedroom
Flexy straws
Coke Zero
Cranberry Juice
Merlot (lots of Merlot)
Cherry Chicken dinner
Cherry jello salad
Sponge bath supplies

I stopped listening when he started talking about sponge baths. I don't think Nurse Ratched gave anybody spongebaths.

I'm taking sign ups to cover the AM and PM shifts here with the patient. No experience required.

Tagged - 123 Book Meme

2007-02-19T09:28:00.000-05:00

I got called out to do this one by Mary. Here it is:

1. Find the nearest book.
2. Name the book & the author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page. Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.
5. Tag three more folks.

All Families Are Psychotic by Douglas Coupland

But then, with her viral diagnosis came a deluge of people from a surprisingly broad and emotional slice of culture. The accelerated perception of death quickly eroded many of the traditional barriers between her and others, and she found she had a talent for organizing group discussion dinners. About a year into her diagnosis, Sarah had phoned and asked her mother what she had been up to lately.

I have just started the book so I'm not sure what I'm in for. I'm interested in it because of what The Miami Herald said about the story. "A powerful, redemptive story... a book about adults, written by a 40 year old who has moved beyond any youthful alienation to an appreciation of the complicated nature of what binds people together."

I'm tagging Jo, Beatrice and Glyn. Now you guys are up!

Accountability

2007-02-01T09:16:00.000-05:00

"Mom, you've been to more schools than me."

You're right. I've been to high school and college.

"No mom. You've been to three schools. High school, college school AND traffic school."

For Mom...

2007-01-14T12:07:00.000-05:00

Baby Showers And The Queen Of Pop

2007-01-13T17:11:00.000-05:00

Today was a welcome break from serving snacks to my family of football fanatics... they all love the game and get way too emotionally involved. The next ten years of my life has been foreshadowed for me in the last several weeks as each weekend all the boys gather together to watch the big game, ( I should say games) down in the basement. I function merely as a waitress that they abuse by yelling "MORE SNACKS, mom!"

Not today. I got to play 100% girl and co-hosted a baby shower for my friend who is expecting in a couple of weeks. I kicked all the boys out, made homemade mushroom madeira soup with leeks... (I had heard of those before but never had cooked with them. You don't need them when you make nachos).

Anyway, I got all the stuff that I never use out and had lots of fun.

Deep down, underneath my effort to project a tom-boy persona and deny that I am a "closet crafter" I like doing the shower thing.

Tonight, I head out to an 80's decade birthday party where dressing up is mandatory. I started out thinking I could be Eddie Van Halen or Def Leppard. I'm going as Madonna - circa 1984 Lucky Star video. I know I'm too old for this.

2007-01-10T10:41:00.000-05:00

I should have asked WHY he wanted the zip lock bags...

Reflections (not the serious kind)

2006-12-26T19:52:00.000-05:00

This time of year, one of the unfortunate results of urban sprawl (is that what it is called?) are deer strikes on the freeway. On Christmas Eve, a deer had been hit and someone had stopped to put a red clown nose on its face...

I did it. I made it through my first Christmas spent apart from family in California. Not going to do that again.

January 1 begins the great fast of 2007. Ruler of the Roost and I have commited to exercising three times a week and cutting out all the bad food we currently eat (in bulk). Goodbye carnitas, chips and homemade salsa, Christmas bread, sweet and buttery frosted sugar blessings of a cookie. No more waffles, heavy sauces, ice cream or starch. I have to wear a bathing suit in three weeks!

The hit - a kitchen/oven & stove top for #3. He and his brother pretend they are at Shogun (aka Benihana) preparing egg fried rice and hibachi chiken.

The miss - Leapster TV as a Santa present was a BIG MISTAKE. Someone please tell me how to make the blankety blank stylus work. Never mind, it has been returned to the island of misfit toys.

Sleeping till 8:30 is the best!

I love the immediate gratification that a clean, empty house brings post Christmas decor take down.

Ruler of the Roost wants it to be known that he alone has successfully assembled said kitchen/oven & stove top, bike ramp, fusion scooter, and trouble shooted the broken light in the basement. In addition, he installed a dimmer (with lots of help from a very capable friend).

I need to load MY music on MY ipod. We're currently enjoying Chris Tomlin's "Better Is One Day" one moment and Beyonce's "Naughty Girl" the next... musical Schizophrenia.

Family trip to the "snow" (snow used very loosely here) - hotel: $209.00 pizza dinner: $54.00 breakfast buffet: $24.00 two hours of innertubing on the man-made runs $100.00 Ruler of the Roost tripping onto the moving carpet ramp up the slope: priceless.

Not looking forward to the wailing protests of my children when they have to go back to school.

Remembering Her

2006-12-13T16:11:00.000-05:00

She is all around me. I use her dishes, make her recipes, wear her jewelry and look everyday at the porcelain nightlight that was on her dresser for as long as I can remember. We shared a fear of the dark.

Lately, I've found myself connecting the most mundane things to my memories of her. My cat came from her backyard. I don't eat a cheeseburger and fries that my mind doesn't flash to lunches on her porch. Oranges remind me of the hundreds I picked off her trees every year.

The other day, I unpacked the acrylic Christmas ornament that she gave me the first Christmas I was married. I've put that thing on the tree every year and never noticed she had written her name and the year on the back in her elegant handwriting.

Yesterday, I met my child's class as they sang carols in a nursing home. I hurriedly entered the building knowing that he would be anxious to know I was there. I wasn't ready for the sights and smells to so abruptly take me back to her. I gritted my teeth, took deep breaths and imagined the tallest ice cream cone to try and compose myself in a room of sweetly singing children.

She loved Christmas. I can still see the poinsetta on her kitchen table. I will miss sitting next to her, making her mimosa and bringing her a plate of her favorite breakfast food on Christmas morning.

She never would have presumed that her life was such a gift to me. I used to tell her she was a character. Feisty, flirtatious and headstrong. She would always reply that she wasn't any of those things. I think those were some of the most enduring things about her. I'm thankful for all of the things around me that provoke such wonderful memories of her.

Happy Birthday, Grandma. I love you and realize that I miss you each day more than I ever thought I would.

Does that mean I look good?

2006-12-05T20:44:00.000-05:00

"Mom, you look just like Darth Vader." #3 to me, as I emerged dressed for Ruler of the Roost's Christmas party on Saturday night.

It Ain't No Regular Tea Party

2006-12-05T19:36:00.000-05:00

My lack of posting lately is directly the result of tea... Specifically the 2006 Northeast Christian Church Christmas Candlelight Tea.

Actually my lack of cooking, cleaning, laundering, shopping, mothering, EATING and blogging resulted from my responsibilities as coordinator of said tea.

Now, for those of you in so-so Cal, you might be thinking a tea? That girl was in charge of putting on a Christmas tea? The girl who mocks glittery Christmas sweaters, giggly all-girl parties and everything that is crafty? Yes, it was me. That's what happens when you make fun of things, God arranges for you to be put in charge of them.

Exhibit 1 -

That is one of 73 tables that were decorated by hostesses who provided dessert, gifts and decor to a table of eight. The tea is offered on two nights along with a "holiday bazaar" and program with a guest speaker. Approximately 1,200 women attended.

I didn't do it all by myself. A team of 12 women and Logan (who interestingly enough is the staff guy actually responsible for the tea) all served in various capacities (ticket sales, programming, crafters, hostesses, marketing, prayer, admin, hospitality to name a few) worked over the last nine months to make it happen.

The evening started with viewing of all the crafters - we had about 26 different vendors who sold jewelry, personalized books, decor, candles, purses, custom chests, embroidered items and quilts. There were three different "tea rooms" where all of the tables were located. Inside the tea rooms, women were seated at their assigned tables where they ate dessert and participated in an ornament exchange.

A few things most didn't know about...

1. A semi truck ran through power lines adjacent to the church and we were told that the church's power might have to be interrupted.

2. I had a hostess fail to show up. This meant that the people who had purchased tickets to her table arrived and discovered that they had no hostess. I had previously called our "no show ho" (as I affectionately referred to her) and in my most polite, assertive voice asked her to leave her home asap and at least bring her food. She explained that her daughter was still in the shower and she might not be able to make it.

I had Ruler of the Roost deliver all the place settings and food and another hostess donated her food and we whipped up a table in about 15 minutes. Disaster averted. They were happy to go shop for their "complimentary candle" while I set the table.

3. I'm still not clear on how this happened, but I get a phone call from Logan who tells me that the main speaker, and three of her family members or friends were on their way in to sit down at a table. I'm thinking, we're sold out, I don't have anywhere to put them, etc. My good friend Amy was hostessing and I saw she had empty seats, so she saved the day.

4. We had to tell the speaker on the first night to shorten her program. She went too long and by the end was KILLING ME... We talked with her and she did a much better job Friday. Though, for what she got paid... she should have hit it both nights.

Which brings me to another sub point - If I got some voice lessons and learned a few Amy Grant knock offs, I think I could take my show on the road... stories, songs, pictures of your family, a "golden nugget" and wah la - you're on the women's speaking circuit making the big bucks. I just have to find a glittery, sequined Christmas sweater first.

I met lots of very nice people - something that at the outset, I was hoping would happen. Many of the women who attended don't go to church - hopefully, their experience at the tea was a good one.

God's Word and Candy

2006-11-16T14:24:00.000-05:00

I was running errands for the tea that I am responsible for (more on that another day). Three was with me in Michael's and we were in line to pay. He told me he was "hungry" which has nothing to do with an empty stomach. What he wants is candy. I told him I would get him a snack when we got home.

As we are walking to the car, he is waiting back wanting to follow me about five feet behind. I quickly realize he has something in his hand... he's taken a piece of chocolate candy that he picked up next to the cash register in the store.

I do the whole down on one knee, look him in the eye, "we don't take things that we haven't paid for, it's called stealing" thing and he starts to cry. I walk him back in crying to give back the candy. I hand it to the cashier as he is wailing "I'm just hungry mommy, you never give me any food!" to anybody who will listen.

It made me remember Two's little incident a couple of years ago. He stole a Bible out of the hotel room we were in. I found it in his bed weeks later - he told me that somebody had given it to him. Yeah, the Gideon's.

So, chocolate and Bibles - that's what we lift here at our house.

I'd give 'em a treat...

2006-10-30T16:10:00.000-05:00

They're ready to get out there to collect my - I mean their candy! Yoda gets to wear his costume to school tomorrow.

I'm hoping that Han Solo comes to the door, I'd personally give him a treat. (Not a trick people, not a trick.)

The Good and the Not so Good

2006-10-09T11:23:00.000-04:00

My friend Mary does a great spiritual exercise every Monday. What is "Sleeping With Bread" you ask - click on "spiritual exercise" and check it out.

For me, this past week has included more than the usual number of frustrations. (In case you didn't know - I'm the arbiter of "average weekly number of frustrations")

#1. Speeding Ticket in a school zone which doubles the fine and doubles the number of points that go on your driving record. Off to traffic school I go.

#2. As I was driving on the freeway, a huge lawn mower was mowing the center median. At precisely the moment I passed, the lawn mower struck some sort of debris that was hurled at my car. My door got all messed up. Something about me that I'm not necessarily proud of is my absolute fanatical maintenance of my car. It's ridiculous I know. Hence, my frustration at the huge scratch and dent.

#3. Mold - Everybody has mold I'm told by the mold abatement and remediation guy. I happen to have extra mold that must be addressed forthwith. $$$

Most of all, even though I knew it was coming, I wasn't prepared to hear my mom tell me on Friday morning that my grandmother had died. I was on a field trip with my son's class and we were just getting out of the car when I answered my phone. I only had a few moments to talk with my mom before I had to assume shirpa responsibilities and carry two pumpkins, two lunches, and a 45 pound kid around on the seven hour pumpkin patch, petting zoo, wood manufacturing tour extravaganza. It was one of those "I just wish I could go home and be by myself" days.

The Good:

#1. I guess I can be glad that all I got was a traffic ticket and wasn't involved in a bad accident.

#2. I was hot about my car getting hit by the lawn mower schrapnel. I boldy decided to turn around, pull over and wait till a lawn mower guy approached me. He did, was very nice and instructed me to fax in an estimate for the repair. I did. The next day I got a check in the mail for the exact amount. Who ever heard of something like this resolving itself so fast. It gave me new hope for mankind!

#3. Mold - nothing good there. It's not fixed yet. Logan frequently walks into my house with his shirt over his mouth to avoid any toxic inhalation that would result in his untimely demise.

I do get to fly home on Friday to attend my grandmother's funeral. I look forward to being with my family and celebrating her life.

Please join me in this great reflective exercise. I want to hear from you!

Life Takes

2006-10-05T12:10:00.000-04:00

speeding ticket on Tuesday $161.00

mold abatement and prevention $2,600.00

car repair from freeway debris $424.00

Mark's face upon learning what the last two days have cost: priceless

Grandma

2006-09-28T09:47:00.000-04:00

I've tried several times to sit down and write about her. I want to capture how she has impacted my life and how hard it is for me to let her go. Maybe I'll be able to express it well in writing someday. For now, I'm thankful that I got to see her one more time. I talked with her. We laughed and I told her for the last time how much I love her.

She's asleep now. They assure us that she's comfortable. My mom and sister and I chose what she will wear. It's beautiful and colorful and classy - just like her.

Mom and Amy see her each day, comb her hair and hold her hand. I hope she is not afraid and knows how much she is cherished and loved.

______________________________________________

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side
spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and
starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty
and strength. I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the
sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as
large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she
left my side and she is just as able to bear her load
of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at
the moment when someone at my side says: "There she is
gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and
other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here
she comes!"

And that is dying.

-Henry Van Dyke

Remembering

2006-09-11T10:56:00.000-04:00

I watched the CBS special last night remembering 9/11. It was a documentary done by two French brothers who prior to September 11, 2001 had decided to film a documentary chronicling a NYFD "probie" They were there filming five years ago today. At the end of the special, the song below was sung as pictures of the lost firefighters were displayed. There were so many other victims that day. I knew none of them. I can't imagine the sorrow and sadness their families have endured. Remembering what happened five years ago reminds me of how unbreakable the human spirit can be.

Frederick Edward Weatherly, 1848-1929

O Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen and down the mountainside
The summer's gone and all the roses falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
O Danny boy, O Danny boy, I love you so.

But if ye come and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be,
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an Ave there for me.

And I shall hear, though soft, your tread above me
And all my grave shall warmer, sweeter be
For you will bend and tell me that you love me
And I will sleep in peace until you come to me.

It was a beautiful and haunting song.

He Works Hard For The Money

2006-09-10T18:01:00.000-04:00

Lest you worry that Ruler Of The Roost isn't getting his three squares a day while on the road, a menu sampling from The French Room where he will be dining Monday evening:

French Room Caviar Stock
Golden Osetra Caviar

Appetizer
Pecan Encrusted Foie Gras, Brioche French Toast, Chocolate Sauce, Rhubarb Coulis
Canadian Shoals Halibut, Spring Pea Puree, Sunchoke Gnocchi, Sauce Bordelaise

Main Course
Medallions of Veal, Poached Pear, Brie Cheese, Wild Mushroom, Root Vegetable Napoleon, Shallot Merlot Sauce
Seared Baby Barramundi, Wild Mushrooms, Fava Bean Puree, Zinfandel Tarragon Sauce
Novy Family Vineyards Syrah, Sonoma 2003

Pre-Dessert
Vanilla and Raspberry Crème Brulee, Peach Sorbet
Michele Chiarlo Moscato d’Asti “Nivole,” Piedmont 2004

Desserts
Coffee Supreme, Chocolate Streusel, Godiva Gelato, Espresso Opaline

____________________________________________

We'll be enjoying an equally delicious multi-course dining experience:

KY Coop Cast Carb Stock
White Cheddar Cheez-It
Diet Pepsi, 2006

Appetizer
Strawberry Jell-o Gelatin Jus

Main Course
Oven dried Macaroni & Cheese encrusted with medallions of Beef Franks
Crudite Platter
Mott's Healthy Harvest Granny Smith no sugar added apple sauce marmalade
Diet Pepsi, 2006

Pre-Dessert
Edy's Light Cherry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

Dessert
Edy's Light Cherry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream finished in Hershey's chocolate sauce
Diet Pepsi, 2006

Book Smart?

2006-09-07T19:19:00.000-04:00

In my Wonderful World Of Boys, I've been learning that Parenting Isn't For Cowards and that What Every Mom Needs might be more than Solid Answers. Speaking Of Boys, this Mother's Heart was pounding out of my chest once again yesterday as my Strong Willed Child refused to go to school. Again. This Real Mom was unsuccessful in getting said child into the gym.

I decided to take a different approach and endeavored to simulate a miserable existence at home. If he didn't want to go to school, I was going to make sure The Five Love Languages Of Children ceased to exist at my house for the stubborn one.

Suffice it to say that yesterday, I definitely didn't Grow Compassionate Kids.

Upon arriving home, I Tempered My Child's Tantrum by instructing him to sit on the entry way rug with his hands in his lap for the entire day. And sit he did. Forget Coaching Your Kids To Be Leaders, I just wanted him to remember that it's no fun at home when you refuse to go to school. As I perused various parenting resources, (i.e. the Love and Logic website, Life Application Study Bible) A Mother's Heart was far from my state of mind and the Power Of A Postive Mom was experiencing a total blackout. Bringing Up Boys is no easy task and I still haven't been able to decode how I can Nurture By Nature. All Mothers are Working Mothers and sometimes I just wish I got the state mandated 30 minute lunch.

An Open Letter To My Fellow Carpool Parents

2006-08-23T14:36:00.000-04:00

You will be relieved to know that the little boy who ran in front of your cars this morning screaming "mommy, mommy, mommmmmmmy" at the top of his lungs is back home and resting comfortably. Thank you for putting your cell phone and starbucks down and looking up just in time to hit your brakes.

He's generally a happy, well adjusted kid. He just doesn't like his teacher. Or homework, Or school. Please know that I had done my due diligence prior to our arrival. He's been coached, encouraged, warned, and threatened. He understands that if he refuses to exit the vehicle with the other three passengers and walk into school there will be consequences. Big ones.

He doesn't care.

I do apologize for holding up traffic. I wasn't trying to create a scene. I will be sure to wear the proper undergarments from now on. I usually don't have to exit my vehicle. You may have noticed me (the one with the wild, frizzy hair, sweat pants, t-shirt and no bra) attempting to discreetly pull my child out of the car and walk him to the door. You all were so patient while I tried to physically remove him from my car. Note to self - take car keys with me when exiting vehicle so that said child can't lock you out. Having pried every one of his fingers off the door handle and whispering in my sweetest, assuring voice that he was fine, I would see him this afternoon, I'm going to get back in the car, etc. I thought I was home free.

That's when you might have heard him screaming at me as I walked away. I heard him. Really, I did. I could see that he was running after me. Thank you green Suburban for not running over him and black Toyota for not rear-ending green Suburban when it stopped abruptly.

And yes, that was my youngest son exiting my vehicle. He got nervous and decided to get out of his seat and come be by me. My deepest gratitude to the lady in the mini-van who got out and walked him over to me.

What's that saying, "it takes a village to drop your kids off at school?"

I'm not sure how helpful it was when the dad on car door duty suggested that I need to "get my kids under control." It's the unsolicited feedback that tends to put me off.

Thanks so much, I'm glad I could clear this up. Maybe you should arrive well before or after me in the morning. (I'm there consistently at 8:03) I'll be the one wearing a bra, with full make-up and hair done dragging my kid into school.

2006-08-23T10:58:00.000-04:00

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

The Woman Who Does Everything More Beautifully Than You

2006-08-22T09:18:00.000-04:00

Sleeping With Bread - Mary's Meme

2006-08-21T19:29:00.000-04:00

My friend Mary does a great spiritual exercise every Monday. (She even has a designer button!)

I'll start with what I'm most grateful for.

1. I'm really grateful that my whole family will be together at Thanksgiving. I'm really looking forward to that.
2. I'm grateful to our good friends who watched our kids all day Saturday.
3. I'm grateful for my kids' school situations.

I'm least grateful for:

1. My relentless insomnia. I'm trying to exercise each day to see if that helps.

I hope to hear from you. Join me (especially those KY people!)

2006-08-16T12:46:00.000-04:00

The youngest woke me up this morning, he had dressed himself. He informed me that today we were going to Target to get a cookie and look at the toys HE wanted to see - all by ourselves. He suggested that I not mention our plan to the boys because they might get sad.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

2006-08-15T16:43:00.000-04:00

'Twas the night before school started,
When all through the town,
The parents were cheering...
It was a riotous sound.

By eight the kids were washed,
And tucked into bed,
When memories of homework,
Filled them with dread.

New pencils, new folders,
New notebooks, too,
New teachers, new friends-
Their anxiety grew.

The parents just giggled,
When they learned of this fright,
And shouted, "Upstairs!
GO TO BED! IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT!"

_____________________________________________

Twas the Night Before School Starts
from Ron Yorgason

T'was the night before school starts
And all through the place,
Not a smile was seen
On any kid's face.
Our bags were all stuffed
With our notebooks brand new,
And rulers and pencils
With erasers to chew.

Mournfully we
All crawled into bed,
Knowing too well
That the 'good life' was dead.

Then mom came in whistling
And kissed us goodnight,
With a bright cheery voice
That didn't seem right.

The night dragged on slowly
I just couldn't sleep,
For fear that my math teacher
Would be a real creep.

Or maybe a bully
Would give me a shove,
Or even more evil things
Than I could think of.

When from in the next room
There arose such a clummer,
My mom yelled, "I'm FREE!"
"I'm free 'till next summer!"

This must be a plot
By conspiring moms,
Who just want a break
To experience 'calm.'

Oh, must I go through it?!
How can I go on?
I want to escape
Run off to Saigon!

Nine months is too long
To suffer through school
The classes so rough
And teachers who're cruel.

"Come Donald! Come Conner!
Come Henry VanStation!
Come up to the board,
Do your multiplication!"

"And Julie, stop talking!
And Jimmy, wake up!
And Mary, right now,
Don't do your makeup!"

Teachers ever are hounding
They just never quit.
You do something wrong,
They go into a fit.

And so every year
About this same time,
I lie in bed sleepless
And just moan and whine.

Until morning comes,
And I hear my mom say,
"Good luck with your school!
And have a nice day!"

Sleeping With Bread - Mary's Meme

2006-08-08T18:40:00.000-04:00

Consolation - Mary spent all kinds of time on my behalf helping to make my blog look great. It means alot to me and I love what she did.

Desolation - I feel like no matter what activity or event I plan for my children, they fail to be appreciative. If I had a rocket parked out front ready to shuttle them to the moon, they'd be so indifferent I'd want to leave them there. I think (actually know) that school will recalibrate them and I personally can't wait. I know "this is a beautiful time," I'll never have them at this age again, blah blah blah. Quite frankly, August 16 can't come soon enough.

2006-08-08T18:33:00.000-04:00

Garrison Keillor: ...and brought to you by Xanax Salad Sprinkles. Anti-anxiety medication in condiment form. Got a tough lunch meeting coming up? Take Xanax Salad Sprinkles to give you that air of supreme indifference that says "winner". And they're low calorie. Available in your grocer's pharmacy section.

2006-08-08T00:29:00.000-04:00

Thank you Mary and Fringelements for my new look! John and Kristen designed the banner and Mary spent a considerable amount of time on my behalf uploading and bringing it all together. I can't stop checking myself out!

Someday, I will actually learn how to do a link, until then:

www.homeonthefringe.com/fringelements

The Flags of Our Sons

2006-08-04T08:55:00.000-04:00

By BILLY SHORE
Published: August 4, 2006
Washington

WHEN you fly as often as I do you learn to mind your own business as soon as you take your seat. But that wasn’t possible once I saw the military honor guard boarding US Airways’ 1:45 p.m. flight from Boston to Washington earlier this week.

I was heading through the gate when I first noticed Senator Ted Kennedy, walking down the concourse and arriving fashionably late, not an uncommon sight on this route. I stepped aside and followed him down the ramp.

As we got to the arched entrance of the plane, the members of a Marine honor guard in their dress blues were coming up that outside staircase usually used for stowing strollers and allowing mechanics on board. The marine in charge held in both hands a flag that had been folded into a triangle as if it had been previously draping a coffin, which it had.

Senator Kennedy extended his hand to the marine and said, “Thank you for your service.”

“Thank you, sir,” replied the marine.

“Are you escorting remains?” asked Senator Kennedy.

“Yes, sir, a marine.”

“And the funeral is at Arlington Cemetery?”

“Yes, sir, on Wednesday.”

“Thank you, I’ll try to get out there.”

The marine went back to sit in coach, but a man in the last row of the first-class cabin went over to him, shook hands and offered his seat. The marine reluctantly accepted. Half the passengers broke into applause.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, though quieter than usual. When we landed, the marine took his white gloves from where he’d stowed them inside his hat, put them on, and again gripped with both hands the precious cargo of the folded flag.

Then he went over to two people quietly sitting in first class — the parents of the fallen marine. None of us had known they were there.

He escorted them off the plane and into the terminal. Because of the afternoon’s oppressive heat and humidity, he had persuaded them to wait inside instead of on the tarmac.

The father looked as if he might have once been a marine himself, a handsome man of perfect posture, with bristly silver hair, dressed smartly in a blue blazer and gray slacks. The mother, blond, wore light-colored pants and an orange jacket. Her glasses made her eyes seem bigger than they were. They both looked calm, if a little lost, and gave off an aura of deep quiet. As she walked by me she noticed that a tie had fallen as I was removing something from my carry-on bag and she stopped and pointed. “I think you dropped something,” she said softly.

They stood at the window between Gates 43 and 45 and watched as a full Marine honor guard marched up the tarmac, coming to attention between the plane and a silver military hearse. The unloading of their son’s coffin from the cargo hold was very slow, and every time someone inside the terminal noticed and stopped to stare, someone else noticed and did the same, and this kept happening until about 20 people stood in silence watching out the window.

The mom leaned her elbows on the window ledge, supporting her chin and cheeks with both hands. She remained perfectly still. She stared for 10 or 15 long minutes and never moved. The father stood nearby, rocking from foot to foot and pacing a bit. They did not touch; they did not say a word to each other. Neither wore a wedding band. Perhaps they were divorced, or simply isolated in their pain.

Standing nearby was a man wearing the T-shirt of a suburban fire and rescue department that he may have earned 20 years and 35 pounds ago. He went over to the parents to chat, not knowing who they were, just one curious spectator to another.

But whatever he said to the mother caused her to turn and look at him in disbelief. Her lips didn’t move, which only encouraged him to repeat it. Her eyes widened and her chin tilted upward like a boxer who had taken a blow. She stared at him and then looked back outside toward her son. Down on the tarmac the white gloves of eight marines snapped their final salute as the doors of the hearse closed.

The P.A. system announced flights for Atlanta and Chicago. Travelers rushed to business meetings or summer vacations. The line for Auntie Anne’s pretzels was as long as ever.

Except for a handful of us standing frozen at a respectful distance from the window, the war and its carnage might as well have been on another planet. The disconnect between those who serve and those of us who are beneficiaries of their service has always felt great to me, but never greater than at that moment.

The mom and dad stepped away from the man in the T-shirt and to another window, still not touching, their movement synchronized by grief. They waited until the marine in charge came back up from the runway to escort them to a government vehicle. I went to my car and drove to work with no ambition for the day other than to be worthy.

Mark-A-Wish Foundation

2006-07-22T19:49:00.000-04:00

Ruler-of-the-Roost mentioned to me today that it was a shame the joy that is living with him couldn't be shared round the world. He went on to comment that while I reap all the benefits of his tireless giving, so many must do without. A tragedy indeed. Henceforth, his philanthropic efforts will be directed beyond the blessed here at ky coop cast.

Mark-A-Wish Eligibility
Any female who has reached the age of 18 and is under the age of 100 at the time of referral, who believes herself to be in desperate need or deserving, is potentially eligible for a wish.

Mission
"I grant the wishes of my wife and others to enrich their life experience with hope, strength, and joy."

Since 1994, the Mark-A-Wish Foundation has enriched the lives of his wife and children with his wish-granting work. The foundation's mission reflects the life-changing impact that a Mark-A-Wish experience has on women, children, families, and fried chicken.

Wish requests may be submitted in writing to Ruler-of-the-Roost who does retain first right of refusal... assuming anyone out there has a wish they want him to fulfill.

2006-07-21T12:29:00.000-04:00

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
'Life that shall send A challenge to its end, And when it comes, say, 'Welcome, friend.''

WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN SAID TO THE PSALMIST
I Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

II Life is real—life is earnest—
And the grave is not its goal:
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

III Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destin'd end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

IV Art is long, and time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

V In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

VI
Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act—act in the glorious Present!
Heart within, and God o'er head!

VII
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footsteps on the sands of time.

VIII
Footsteps, that, perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwreck'd brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

IX
Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Detox and the Sex Goddess

2006-07-07T15:28:00.000-04:00

We're on day five of Operation California Detox which includes endless inquiries by my three children wanting to know what we're doing today for fun. After I explain the plan for the day which may or may not include swimming at the pool, renting their favorite movie or playing outside, I'm blasted by a chorus of cries and complaints.

"I wish we never moved here." "California is much more fun than this stinkin place." "I'll just live at Grandma's and Boppa's by myself - you can give them money." "I'm bored."

I expected this. After 27 days of pure, uninterrupted fun and entertainment, they don't know what to do with themselves. We did have a great time and for once in my life, I wasn't ready to leave. It was so good to be with everybody and watch my kids enjoy themselves so much. I was sad to leave too.

Mark was ready for all of us to be home. He was getting bored and couldn't wait for me to walk in to the spotless house completely stocked with groceries and exclaim (again) what an amazing man he is. So, I get it. I tell him how appreciative I am, what a great job he did, wow, I can't believe how perfect everything is, blah blah blah.

The next thing I do is check email and note that Amazon.com has sent a shipment confirmation for a book he had ordered. Yes, "227 Ways to Unleash the Sex Goddess Within" is on its way to my door. Perfect. Now in addition to unpacking, washing and putting away the nine bags of luggage I brought back, and dealing with my kids' post-California depression, I can learn how to create my sensual garden.

I mention my "find" to Mark and he's again thinking all thanks and praise are headed in his direction. How thoughtful he's been, a gift for me. I should be applauded for not having an immediate vocal, emotional response. I decide in the moment, that I'll just address this later.

So the book arrives. I leave it on the counter and the Giver of all Gifts walks in from work and looks through the book. "This is not what I expected at all." (Imagine my face with the biggest "puh-leese" look on it.) So he's telling me that he miss-understood the title and thought in fact it was the male counterpart to the author's other literary work of art entitled "203 Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed" (Which we have because my sister received it for her bachelorette party and decided to pass it on.)

This from my husband, who has an incredible amount of responsibility and accountability in his job and who I have always considered to be very intelligent.

That's his story and he's stickin to it.

100 things you might not know about me

2006-05-28T19:55:00.000-04:00

1. I detest the color mint green.
2. I'm a bit afraid that I'll get cancer.
3. I really like stormy weather.
4. Fall is my favorite season of the year.
5. I'm proud of my family.
6. People with big egos get on my nerves.
7. I don't like to mess up.
8. I am beginning to understand what having a mid-life crisis means.
9. Cheap chocolate doesn't taste good anymore.
10. When I was a kid, I remember a specific time my dad demonstrated amazing patience - I try to model that to my kids.
11. I think the way my mom handled the whole sex talk was perfect.
12. Snakes are not good.
13. I say yes sometimes and regret it.
14. I wonder a lot about the women my boys will marry.
15. I love to swim laps.
16. I'm really good at estimating how long something will take.
17. My experiences in church had a huge impact on me as a child growing up.
18. My experiences in church as an adult have had a very different impact on me.
19. I like having a diverse group of friends.
20. Mark is perfect for me.
21. I like to listen to really loud music.
22. I suck at math.
23. I have never cared that I suck at math.
24. Sucking at math has not really negatively impacted my life.
25. I want to go to a winery some day.
26. I want to train for and finish a marathon.
27. I like my house to be really clean.
28. I don't care if your house isn't clean.
29. I could have very easily married the wrong person and ended up divorced.
30. I appreciate the friendships I have.
31. I will speak up sooner next time I'm involved in a conflict.
32. I used to work in marketing at Disneyland, the Mighty Ducks and Angels.
33. My hair is almost all gray.
34. I don't feel as old as I am.
35. Mark is the only person who I let see the very worst in me.
36. I won a gold medal in academic decathlon in high school.
37. I get impatient when listening to long winded explanations.
38. Every week I read my Newsweek cover to cover.
39. I really like to read.
40. I wish I had a huge, gourmet kitchen with two ovens and a 6 burner gas range.
41. I don't care how much money I spend.
42. It bugs me sometimes that Mark cares how much money I spend.
43. I will gladly spend money if it makes something easier.
44. When I was a kid, I liked playing with boys more than girls.
45. I like my space.
46. I like to eat at expensive restaurants.
47. I think Viggo is hot.
48. I vote republican but have democratic tendencies.
49. Certain songs strike me as excellent striptease music.
50. I love the show Rescue Me.
51. Watching my kids experience fireworks on the 4th of July is the best.
52. I don't watch movies more than once. (Exception: The Thornbirds)
53. If my car is clean - all is well with my soul.
54. Minor regret - tanning and burning too often in teens and 20's and working full time and going to college full time at the same time.
55. My favorite vacation growing up - my parents rented a beach house and let me and my brother invite all of our friends.
56. Sometimes I question the decision to move to KY.
57. Going to the movies is one of my favorite things to do.
58. My very first job was at a frozen yogurt store - I ate frozen yogurt ALL day.
59. I love to cook and bake. Someday, I'd like to take lessons.
60. I'm not really interested in making conversation with people I'll never see again. (i.e. - cruise ship dinner companions)
61. I'd rather hang out with 10 really good friends than 50 acquaintances.
62. Mark and I only dated three months before we got engaged. I reserved the church for our wedding six weeks after meeting Mark. I gave a false name so nobody would know.
63. I am always ready to leave before anybody else.
64. One of the most embarrassing things I can remember happening to me occurred at my sister's wedding. As I stood to give a toast, the DJ introduced me as "wearing the largest bridesmaid dress ever made" (I was 8 months pregnant)
65. I do not have one completed baby or childhood photo album for any of my kids.
66. I really like jewelry - the real stuff.
67. I'm usually not early or late - I'm exactly on time.
68. Being on staff at church was the hardest job I ever had.
69. I don't think that people can change themselves very much.
70. Our first child was conceived 20 feet from my parents on a family vacation in Hawaii.
72. I was on my high school swim team with Olympic swimmer Janet Evans. We set the women's relay record at C.I.F.
73. My first boyfriend was four years older than me. We dated for three years.
74. I left at the break in every one of my college classes. I still got decent grades.
75. A few of my closest friends are males.
76. I wish I was more educated in the arts.
77. I read the opinion section of the newspaper first every day.
78. I'm good in the midst of a crisis and then fall apart way after it's over. (My emotions or feelings about something are usually experienced well after an event takes place.
79. When I get mad I stew.
80. I want to be considered a giver not a taker.
81. I would work almost any job before running an in-home day care.
82. Someday I will take my close friends on an exotic vacation (no kids).
83. I do not like sushi.
84. Chapstick is a necessity.
85. I don't like long rides in the car.
86. I like new houses not old ones with "character"
87. I have to work really hard to not cuss.
88. My middle name is Christine.
89. I do not like the names cindy, pam, doug, or duane.
90. I would have a dog if it didn't shed or poop. I'd get a big dog, no silly little purse kind.
91. I hope my boys will want to hang out with me sometimes when they are adults.
92. I wonder what my boys will say that I do that annoys them.
93. I wonder what a good psychological therapist would say is my big problem.
94. One thing that is still the same about me is the fact that I like everything neat and clean.
95. One thing that is different about me now - I am definitely not as judgmental as I used to be.
96. I think character matters most.
97. I try to do what I say I'm going to do. I don't like it when others don't follow through.
98. I will never think toilet humor is funny.
99. I'm like Schrek, I have lots of layers.
100. I have several questions for God.

Dichotomy - illustrated as follows...

2006-05-24T12:50:00.000-04:00

Three Things I have done this week:

1. Attempted to deal with the hair removal wax that mysteriously got dumped over in my bathroom cabinet and oozed over and under approximately 33 different items in said cabinet. Have you ever tried this and not cussed?

2. Sponged up and scrubbed the approximately 12 ounces of Suave Kids Blueberry Blitz shampoo that mysteriously tipped over and spilled into my cream carpet.

3. Removed approximately half a pound of playground bark that was mysteriously put into the pocket of my son's pants and placed in the dryer (by him) so that he could "get his pants nice and toasty"

Three Things Mark has done this week:

1. Had a massage poolside at a hotel on Coronado island in San Diego, California

2. Joined other "co-workers" in a limo complete with multiple pitchers of martini's and was shuttled off to a four star dining experience.

3. Played beach volleyball

It's a horse people!

2006-05-22T17:17:00.000-04:00

KENNETT SQUARE, Pa. (AP) -- Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro is making progress from surgery on his broken leg, even showing an interest in mares, but the colt still faces a long and perilous road to recovery, his surgeon said Monday.

Dr. Dean Richardson, who performed the intricate five-hour operation, was satisfied with the result, but blunt about the future for a horse that put together an unbeaten record until he broke down in the Preakness Stakes.

"There's some mares there, and he's extremely interested in the mares," Richardson told ABC's Good Morning America.

"We're salvaging him as a breeding animal."

____________________

a couple thoughts about the above headline news item:

1. I have read and heard about this on CNN, the radio, local newspaper, USA Today, Sports Illustrated and countless other online news resources. This is BIG news for those of you intent on following frivolous details about gunfights in Gaza City, the senate immigration debate and civil war in the Sudan.

2. Provided he recovers from his injuries, Barbaro faces the pleasant prospect of humping unsuspecting mares multiple times a day in an effort to pass on his magic DNA. (Mark is trying to figure out how he can break his leg.)

A Mother's Day Tale

2006-05-13T13:26:00.000-04:00

In the beginning God created the world and populated it with CHILDREN... and after a time, he looked down and said "Heavens! This place is a zoo!" So he created PETS... and after a time he looked down and said: "What an ungodly mess! You kids need a shepherd!" So He created DADS... and after a time He looked down and was astonished to see the whole works going straight to hell in a handbasket! So He created MOMS... and after a time the Lord looked down and said "This is good!"

Happy Mother's Day to all the girls who are fantastic MOMS.

Interview Me...

2006-05-11T10:23:00.000-04:00

Julia, at How Did I Get Here? is doing this fun little exercise.

(I don't know how to create a link to her so go to http://juliajuliabohemian.blogspot.com) and check out her "Interview Me" post.

The deal is I answer her questions below and offer to interview anybody who visits my blog and wants to be asked five questions that I come up with. I'm callin' out Mary, Glyn and Logan. You know and I know you want to be interviewed...

Julia asked:
1. You just found out that an important person is coming over for dinner and you only have one hour to prepare something suitable. What do you do?

I responded:
I always have ingredients for mexican food on hand. I whip up enchiladas, fajitas, corn cake, refried beans etc. and dip into my stash of mexican themed paper napkins for good measure.

Julia asked:
2.Would you ever go to a clothing optional beach?

I responded:
Yes, for research purposes... I'd wear clothing and check out all the others who consider it optional.

Julia asked:
3.Have you ever shoplifted and if so, what was it?

I responded:
Yes, age 13, I stole mascara from K-mart. Got caught, got severely scolded and warned that if I did it again, they'd call the police. That was nothing compared to what consequences I faced when I got home... I've never gone back into a K-mart again.

Julia asked:
4. You won a contest and have been given the chance to donate $10,000 to any specific cause. what is it and why?

I responded:
I would donate it to an organization that helps abused children. Since I've had children of my own, nothing breaks my heart, or makes me angrier. I can accept that lots of bad things happen, their is wickedness in the world, etc. but NOT when innocent children are abused. I definitely struggle with God about this.

Julia asked:
5. Describe your worst haircut ever.

I responded:
Short, round bobbed diddy that would look good on almost anybody but me.

I'm working on your questions. Logan...

I'll have another Lilly please...

2006-05-06T20:54:00.000-04:00

Lemons Forever became the longest shot ever to win in the Oaks 132-year history. That's about all I've got to say about the horses.

I really wasn't there to watch the ponies.

Mark and I attended Oaks yesterday and just finished watching the "two most exciting minutes in sports" on TV. Did you catch it? After today, Kentucky once again slips into relative obscurity for the next 365 days.

My Takeaways:

After two ill fated attempts at slathering on flash bronzer, I finally succeeded at not looking like an adobe brick. I was just trying to mitigate my abominable snowman legs

Do a better job at hiding the hat receipt from Accounting Control (Mark)

Silent Auction and Brunch at The Brown Hotel downtown - People will pay a lot of money for really ugly artwork

I never knew lox, toast points, bibb lettuce, benedictine, egg and red onion chive vinaigrette could be so beautifully presented on a plate and taste like cat food.

It is amazing how many people are legally drunk by 11:15 AM

It is important to pace oneself upon arrival at Churchill Downs. There are 11 races approximately 45 minutes apart. A mint julep or in my case "Lilly" between every race will render any lady completely senseless by the end of the day. (Happily, I was not rendered senseless at the end of the day)

Apparently, John Elway is some guy who used to play football.

While everyone at my table poured over their program to figure out which horse to bet on in the next race, I was pouring over the buffet choices.

You have to bet big to win big. The Lagestee's wagered (and lost) a grand total of $14.00.

Walking on the ball of your foot for nine hours in 3 inch heels results in me taking my shoes off and not giving a crap if I step in squished mint sprigs, beer and God only knows what else. Note for next year, bring flip flops to walk back to the car.

While in attendance at a YUM party, be prepared to do the YUM Chant led by David Novak. It doesn't matter who you are - the CEO of McDonald's would be forced to participate if he were there. Give me a "Y" - crowd chants "Y" and makes a Y with their arms. Give me a "U" and so on. "What's that spell?" crowd: YUM "What's that spell?" crowd (louder) YUM! It's like a cult.

Hootie and the Blowfish (they were the entertainment) still have it goin on after all these years. Brought me back to the happy days when Mark and I were first married and blasting the CD in our apartment and making trips back and forth to the laundry room. (Remember doing your laundry at an apartment?)

That about sums it up. Anybody need to borrow a hat?

Apparently Blondes DO Have More Fun

2006-05-04T07:48:00.000-04:00

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- A 63-year-old hospital consultant is set to become Britain's oldest mother after undergoing fertility treatment, the Italian doctor who treated her said.

He said Rashbrook, whom he last saw in November, was "perfect" for the treatment, because although she was 62 at the time, she had a biological age of about 45.

"She came here with her husband, the couple love each other, she is very slim, blonde and in perfect condition, she fits all the criteria for maternity."

____________

Apparently, the color of your hair helps to predetermine the success of fertility treatment. I have unwittingly given birth (as a brunette) to genetically inferior children. Your prayers are solicited.

Out of the mouths of babes

2006-04-27T18:52:00.000-04:00

Ryan "Mom you look really skinny in that picture. I bet you never ate any vanilla wafers back then"

Me "Yes, I do look pretty skinny in that picture. Do you know how old I was in that picture? I was 24.

Ryan "Yeah, you didn't have a big bottom like you do now. Maybe you could do some exercises like running or just don't eat so much food"

Me "Yeah, that's an idea...

Sinister Minister

2006-04-18T19:19:00.000-04:00

Those of you in so cal may have mistakenly thought I was referring to Kanye West's opinion of Glyn after he heard about the little mishap with a film clip and subsequent commentary a few weeks ago... not to worry though.

Sinister Minister is a horse. "A legitimate monstrous exhibition of raw speed reminiscent of Spend A Buck and War Emblem." Yes, kids it's here, the 132nd Run For The Roses, the first jewel in the triple crown of thoroughbred horse racing, The Kentucky Derby.

Mark and I attended last year and just received an invitation to attend The Oaks, which Louisvillians sometimes refer to as "our derby" a sister event to the Kentucky Derby that takes place the day before.

To further illuminate you (I can hear you begging to be illuminated) about the derby experience, you must appreciate the following details and otherwise superfluous info:

* Mint Juleps = signature drink of the Kentucky Derby (sugar, water, Kentucky bourbon whiskey, sprig o mint) very tasty.
* Millionaires Row = large suites, meeting/banquet rooms that over look the track where celebs and fancy people hang out.
* Hats = ladies generally wear a hat to Derby. There are really no rules other than it should be worn 1 inch above your eyebrow and not on the back of your head. Other than that, anything goes, the bigger the better.
* Wagering = you'd have to hang out with a hardened horse track afficionado to learn all there is to know.
* the infield = the inside of the track where the real party is, think of a giant, out of control tail gate party.
* KY Derby Post Parade = right before the race, the horses walk to the post as the entire crowd sings "My Old Kentucky Home"
* Silks = colors the jockeys wear so you can distinguish the 16-20 horses racing on the track

So upon news of the invitation to Oaks, I set out to get a hat. As a Shanks, I have forever been plagued with giant sasquatch like feet and hands. My head, as I have recently been made aware, is just as big. Picture me trying on beautiful hats that pop off my head as soon as they are set upon it. After much stretching, (hat people's polite euphemism for "make a hat for freakishly big head girl") I bought one that actually stays on my head.

And to give you a sense of just what it is like - picture thousands of people (who have enjoyed more just a couple of mint juleps) singing this tune before the "two most exciting minutes in sports" ...

My Old Kentucky Home
by: Stephen C. Foster

The sun shines bright in the old Kentucky home
'Tis summer, the people are gay;
The corn top's ripe and the meadow's in the bloom,
While the birds make music all the day;
The young folks roll on the little cabin floor,
All merry, all happy, and bright,
By'n by hard times comes a-knocking at the door,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Chorus

Weep no more, my lady,
Oh weep no more today!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky home,
For the old Kentucky home far away.

They hunt no more for the 'possum and the coon,
On meadow, the hill and the shore,
They sing no more by the glimmer of the moon,
On the bench by that old cabin door;
The day goes by like a shadow o'er the heart,
With sorrow where all was delight;
The time has come when the people have to part,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Chorus

The head must bow and the back will have to bend,
Wherever the people may go;
A few more days and the trouble all will end
In the field where sugar-canes may grow;
A few more days for to tote the weary load,
No matter, 'twill never be light,
A few more days till we totter on the road,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Anybody want to put some money on Sinister Minister?

They made it

2006-04-04T16:49:00.000-04:00

Sunday night, a big thunder storm came through with 70 mph winds. The kids were scared because the tornado sirens were sounding and all I could think about was how much water was going to get into my house! You can't believe the wind and rain in these kind of storms. Pieces of our roof got torn off, a shutter was blown off the house and we had all kinds of debris in our yard. I was also worried about my tulips.

Channeling Marsha

2006-04-01T20:59:00.000-05:00

I swore I would never do it. I was going to break the chains, stop the madness.

But I'm a desperate woman. None of the usual consequences were working. So I did it.

I made Michael write sentences today. Ten sentences (each had to exceed 6 words) that described what he likes about his brother. Punishment, discipline, correction - whatever you want to call it for being mean.

It is important to note, that I am not the author of this creative little exercise. All the credit is due Marsha. She's inventive, cunning, and was always one step ahead of us kids. My brother, sister and I, all took our turns experiencing the consequences of our bad choices. Like the time I flipped off my brother. I had to stand in front of a mirror for one hour flipping myself off. My mom said that since I liked to use obscene gestures, I had better practice and get it right. Slamming a door bought you the opportunity to open and shut it 500 times counting out loud. If you didn't have a pleasant tone as you counted, you were required to start over. My brother spit at me once and had to spit into a cup till he filled it half way.

We thought we were so smart one night when all the vegetables we didn't want to eat got passed under the table to my brother. He later went to the backyard and hucked it all over the fence. This system of disposing unwanted and stolen food worked fantastically for several months until the neighbor came over one day with a bag of soda cans, rotten carrot and celery sticks, pork chops and broccoli. That bought us an entire day weeding his yard.

I mentioned stolen food. We were not allowed to just go into the pantry and eat whatever, whenever. I understand today that my mom was just trying to protect her inventory from the locusts. My brother ate an illegal banana and had to eat 10 more in one sitting. I don't know if he likes bananas anymore.

Her stuff worked, I thought twice before I called my brother an idiot - I didn't want to be made to list 100 things I liked about him.

I'm passing it on.

"When God saw you, it was love at first sight"

2006-03-26T12:44:00.000-05:00

I feel a rant coming on, it can't be helped. I've passed by one too many church marquees with some trite, pithy little phrase on it. The physical and emotional response I have can only be likened to the distress I experience upon walking into my children's bathroom only hours after I've cleaned it to discover it has once again been reduced to a gas station restroom.

To wit:

"The best vitamin for a Christian is B-1"
"Jesus - gateway to the supernatural"
"Down in the mouth? It's time for a faith lift"
"Need a new life? God accepts trade-ins"
"You don't need to be brain dead to live for Jesus - but when you are, you'll be glad you did"
"Hell! I'd forgotten about that"
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams"
"Prevent truth decay, brush up on the Bible"
"Jesus: He's holding your atoms together"

Just a sampling of the quippy little quotes I've taken down over the years. Here's why they're all wrong. First - I have yet to meet somebody whose life was transformed as a result of reading a church marquee. Second - I have serious doubts that anybody driving by, Christian and heathen alike, actually stop and ponder the meaning of any given statement. Third - I think it reduces God and Christianity to a marketing tag line that is supposed to entice somebody to "buy the product"

It is my contention that I don't have "Christian credibility" with anyone till they've personally witnessed or experienced me truly behaving and living like one. More than anything, I would hate for someone who was actually considering darkening the door of a church for the first time to be dissuaded because they happened upon the cheesy marquee quote first.

So there it is. I'm stepping off my soap box (what does that mean anyway?) I'm done.

Just remember - "If God is your co-pilot - swap seats"

blogs

2006-03-23T20:16:00.000-05:00

I don 't get this blog thing. Some old school protestant reformed preacher (glyn) needs to come up with a fancy acronym telling me and the rest of the world why a blog matters. You know what I mean . . .B is for _____, L is for ____ blah, blah, blah. {hint: a book called Aquachurch may help develop your thinking around how to do this.}

After looking at a few of these things, I've yet to see anything more than personal musings about nothingness. Isn't this what L! groups are for?

OK, I've been getting abused - verbally of course - for my selection of a 'display name'. It's a feeble attempt at humor given the family blog name - all of our friends already know the truth about who the real ruler is (see Eph 5:22).

Enough Already!

2006-03-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

An order to "Cease and Desist" has been issued to Mark

Sad

2006-03-15T12:42:00.000-05:00

I met a new neighbor today. They moved in two doors down and she introduced herself to me on my driveway. She and her husband are from Florida. They have a young son. We chatted, I asked all of the usual questions and we exchanged names and phone numbers.

I'm going to call her.

I'm going to call her because I've spent the better part of four days pouting (again) about how lonely I feel here. I told Mark I can go days when he's out of town and only talk with my kids. Sure we have friends we've made here... very nice people by the way. But I can't help longing for the friendships that I have in CA. I miss my mom and dad. I miss my sister and seeing her new baby. The strangest things here trigger my sadness.

On Sunday, I drove by a house - there were several cars out front. Kids playing outside with dads and uncles. Sunday dinner with family. We used to do that at my mom's house almost every week. I wish my kids could experience that.

The boys had their basketball banquet. Mark had to be out of town. So I went with them, they had lots of fun but as I sat there, once again, I felt so alone in a room full of all kinds of extended family cheering on their nephew, niece or grandchild.

I have very dear friends who are in the midst of amazing and life changing experiences (expanding their family by fostering children, navigating a painful divorce, getting married, etc.) and I feel like I'm missing out on walking through those experiences with them, helping out, and being present because I live so far away.

For some reason, I haven't "leaved and cleaved" fully. I don't want to leave and cleave because so many years and experiences are wrapped up with my family and friends at home.

So, I know what I would offer in the way of advice to somebody in my shoes. I usually always know the solution and am rarely in the mood to work toward it. But I will call my new acquaintance down the street. It's a good baby step today and for now, all I'm in the mood for.

Quote of the Day

2006-03-03T08:04:00.000-05:00

"A woman wants equity, that's not necessarily the same as equality."

Steven Nock from his recently published study asking: What makes a woman happy with her marriage?

Ground Hog Day And Then...

2006-03-01T19:53:00.000-05:00

You could probably set your watch according to my routine - On any given day, children will be fed, and shuttled. Dishes will be loaded and unloaded. Some frozen piece of meat will hopefully be thawed and transformed into dinner that is served at exactly 5:30 pm. I'm making a concerted effort to expand my exciting daily rituals with lots of reading, not nearly enough exercise and a few spiritual practices. And then there are the isolated events that transform the mundane.

Like my experience at Moby's Carwash. Here in Louisville, they have these stand alone buildings with automatic, touchless car washes that you pull into. (similar but bigger than the one at the Shell station by my old house on Yorba Linda Blvd)

So, I pull up, deposit my $5.00 for my "Summer Squall" and proceed to drive in. The doors in front and back of me come down and Tyler and I watch as my 8 mile per gallon, atmosphere destroying vehicle is restored by water and soap. The wash is done and now as instructed by a neon sign being held by Moby - I pull forward. But the doors don't open. I back up, (maybe I have to trigger something) That doesn't work either. So now I'm sitting inside a car wash and I can't get out. I step out of my car, push the button for the door - nothing. I look for a phone number, a human, a side entry door - nothing. Maybe there is a manual release lever like my garage door opener at home - no.

After sitting in my car for 30 minutes, alternately reassuring my inquiring 3 year old that we'll get out soon - I am at a complete loss. Do I call the fire department? Not 911 - just the regular number and request that on the way back from extinguishing a house fire and saving people, could they help me escape this car wash? Can I pull the door up with my hands and crawl out? What the heck am I going to do? Now Tyler is getting nervous, of course he has to go the bathroom... this was funny 20 minutes ago, but I'm over it now.

I've pulled and pushed every button and lever in the carwash. (I can tell you how to trigger a free application of hot wax and rust inhibitor) I've blown dry my car (and my hair) four times. Now I'm just trying not to use profanity.

Finally, another car pulls up outside and I yell through the door that I'm trapped and can't get the door open. The very nice man laughed at me and then called the number that he could see posted on the OUTSIDE of the building and soon I was free.

Maybe next time, I'll wash the car in my driveway.

Red Dawn - a study of teenage heroism

2006-03-01T16:12:00.000-05:00

My very good friend Glyn was shocked and appalled to learn that I listed the movie Red Dawn in my profile as one of my favorites. As an Engishman, he fails to appreciate the heroic, selfless acts of patriotism, harrowing danger and bravery that repeatedly, throughout the film demonstrate how fantastic Patrick Swayze looked in 1983.

That said, I also feel the need to respond to his accusation that I am swimming in dangerously "shallow" waters... I disagree. What girl wouldn't want to be a part of the band of teenagers camping out in the wilderness (with a bunch of hot teenage boys) and fighting the bad guys?

I've been reading alot lately and have come across the idea of "context" I guess you have to put my appreciation for this great film in "context" and understand that when I watched it as a 13 year old many years ago, it was the danger and adventure that appealed to me.

So Glyn, I'm waiting to read all about the anxiety you experience upon entering a nice restaurant and encountering a single napkin...

Inspiration = Mary

2006-02-25T19:43:00.000-05:00

I decided to try this blog thing and get past the initial "I don't have anything interesting to say" fears that have prevented me from doing this in the past.

Mary's blog inspired me to give it a whirl. Mark wanted to know if it's my blog or "our" blog. I explained that depends on his level of participation. We'll see.